At the beginning of 2009 I made note of the following resolutions suggested by Sally Albright and share them with you now for possible inclusion in your list as you prepare for the new year.
Top 10 New Year’s Resolutions for Couples
#10: Exercise Together
Exercising together as a couple can make getting more exercise fun, and you and your spouse can truly have a “healthy” relationship.
#9: Cook Together
Cooking dinner together is a great way to spend time together.
#8: Play Games Together
Take the time to have some fun with your spouse by playing games together — especially in the colder winter months.
#7: The Little Things
Sometimes, it’s the littlest of things that really matter. Something as simple as setting the coffee machine to brew in the morning or opening the car door for your spouse can really show how much you care.
#6: Get Romantic
The types of romantic gestures you do really depends on what your spouse considers to be romantic, whether it be bouquets of flowers or cuddling together and watching a football game on TV.
#5: Listening
Truly listen. Keep in mind that your spouse isn’t always in search for answers and may not want to receive advice. They just want your ears all to themselves.
#4: Fewer Arguments
Make a New Year’s resolution to argue less. Pick your battles wisely. Most importantly, learn to compromise.
#3: Compliments
Taking the time to compliment your spouse shows them that you do still love them, you appreciate them, and you still find them attractive. Surprise your loved one with compliments during appropriate times, such as when they dress up for a dinner out, do a job well done, or the way they handled your child’s misbehavior.
#2: Dates
A little alone time with your spouse can be all that you need to feel reconnected with them. Having a special date night at the end of the week can give you and your loved one something to look forward to.
#1: Saying I Love You
Say it often, say it with meaning. A simple I Love You can melt someone’s heart.
One man has never married, and that’s his hell; another is, and that’s his plague.
~ Robert Burton, in The Anatomy of Melancholy
Every woman should marry, and no man.
~ Benjamin Disraeli, in Lothair
Vitium uxoris aut tollendum aut ferendum est. Qui tollit vitium, uxorem commodiorem praestat; qui fert, sese meliorem facit. [A wife's faults must either be corrected or put up with. Who corrects the faults, makes his wife more pleasant; who puts up with them, makes himself a better man.]
~ Lucius Afranius, in Satirae Menippeae, De Officio mariti
The institution of marriage makes a parasite of woman, an absolute dependent. It incapacitates her for life’s struggle, annihilates her social consciousness, paralyzes her imagination, and then imposes its gracious protection, which is in reality a snare, a travesty on human character.
~ Emma Goldman
Once a man’s married he’s absolutely bitched.
~ Ernest Hemingway, in The Three-Day Blow
A good marriage is when you’re married not to someone you can live with, but to someone you really cannot live without.
~ Dr. Howard Hendricks
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It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows.
~ Erma Bombeck
Parents are not interested in justice, they are interested in quiet.
~ Bill Cosby
Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.
~ Phyllis Diller
The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children.
~ King Edward VII
The reason you want your kids to pay attention in school is you haven’t the faintest idea how to do their homework.
~ Babs Bell Hajdusiewicz
Nurses nurse
and teachers teach
and tailors mend
and preachers preach
and barbers trim
and chauffeurs haul
and parents get to do it all.
~ Babs Bell Hajdusiewicz
An advantage of having one child is you always know who did it.
~ Babs Bell Hajdusiewicz
Children are unpredictable. You never know what inconsistency they’re going to catch you in next.
~ Franklin P. Jones
A torn jacket is soon mended, but hard words bruise the heart of a child.
~ Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Our children are being raised by appliances.
~ Bill Moyers
Never raise your hand to your children; it leaves your midsection unprotected.
~ Robert Orben
I take my children everywhere, but they always find their way back home.
~ Robert Orben
I was doing the family grocery shopping accompanied by two children, an event I hope to see included in the Olympics in the near future.
~ Anna Quindlen
Have children while your parents are still young enough to take care of them.
~ Rita Rudner
Parents, if you love your children, do all that lies in your power to train them up to a habit of prayer. Show them how to begin. Tell them what to say. Encourage them to persevere. Remind them if they become careless and slack about it. Let it not be your fault, at any rate, if they never call on the name of the Lord.
~ John Ryle, in The Duties of Parents
A man cannot leave a better legacy to the world than a well-educated family.
~ Thomas Scott
An evil upbringing in the home is worse than the wars of God and Magog.
~ Talmud, Berakot, 7
He who teaches his son is as if he had taught his son, his son’s son, and so on to the end of all generations.
~ Talmud, Kiddushin, 30
Do not threaten a child. Either punish or forgive him.
~ Talmud, Semahot, 2, 6
Parents: A peculiar group who first try to get their children to walk and talk, and then try to get them to sit down and shut up.
~ Wagster’s Dictionary of Humor and Wit
Before I got married, I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children, and no theories.
~ John Wilmot, Earl of Rochester
I’ve got two wonderful children — and two out of five isn’t too bad.
~ Henry Youngman
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is a husband.
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What did Albert Einstein, Edgar Allen Poe, H.G. Wells, Charles Darwin, and Queen Victoria all have in common, matrimonially speaking?
(see the comment section below for the answer)
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Put your dog and your wife in the trunk of the car for an hour.
When you open the trunk, which one is happiest to see you?
Looking for wedding music? In the Minister’s Marriage Manual, Samuel Ward Hutton
ORGAN MUSIC
Johann Sebastian Bach – “Prelude in G Major”
Johann Sebastian Back – “Fugue from the Tocatta and Fugue in C”
Alexandre Guilmant – “Nuptial March in E Major”
Alexandre Guilmant – “Postlude Nuptiale”
VOCAL MUSIC
Johann Sebastian Bach – “My Hear Ever Faithful” (from the Petecost Cantata)
Roberta Bitgood – “The Greatest of These Is Love”
Jennie Prince Black – “The Pledge”
D.S. Blomfield and Oscar Fox – “O Perfect Love”
Ernest Charles – “Love Is of God”
Roland Diggle – “A Wedding Prayer”
Vern Glasgo Dunlap – “Wedding Prayer”
Charles Francois Gounod – “Entreat Me Not to Leave Thee”
Rena Silverman Lesser – “God Bless This Day”
Austin Lovelace – “We Lift Our Hearts to Thee”
Austin Lovelace – “A Wedding Benediction”
Albert Hay Malotte – “The Lord’s Prayer”
HYMNS
“Jesus, Thou Joy of Loving Hearts”
“O Perfect Love”
“O Happy Home, Where Thou Art Loved the Dearest”
“Now Thank We All Our God”
“O Father, Thou Who Givest All”
“Let the Whole Creation Cry”
“Bless the Four Corners of This House”
What music did you use in your wedding?
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In the Minister’s Marriage Manual, Samuel Ward Hutton
How long have you two known each other?
For what period of time have you been engaged?
Have either of you been engaged before?
What interests do you have in common?
What is your attitude toward your future inlaws?
Will both of you work, or only one?
What will the combined income be?
Have you considered working out a budget of expenses in keeping with your total income?
Do you plan to rent, or will you attempt to buy a home?
Which of you will control the purse strings?
Is either of you inclined to be extravagant or a “tight wad”?
Do you plan to open one or more charge accounts?
What is your attitude toward children?
Have you had any arguments?
Do either or both of you have quick tempers?
What recreation can you both enjoy?
How will you face discouragement or elation?
Are there any particular problems that bother you?
Are you deeply in love with one another?
What is the church background of each of you?
If you come from different faiths, what are your plans for agreement?
Have you considered asking a blessing on the food before each meal?
What has been your experience and practice in prayer?
Have you carried a responsibility in your local church, such as leading a youth group, teaching in the church school or singing in choir?
Some have found a brief devotional at the breakfast table helpful. Would this be a practice you are open to?
What are your reading habits?
Once upon a time in the land of Kevin-is-not-too-bright, I forgot a wedding anniversary. Don’t do that…
Below is a chart to help you add a little special touch to your anniversary gift giving.
| Anniversary | Traditional | Modern |
| 1st | Paper | Clocks, Plastic, Gold Jewelry |
| 2nd | Cotton | China, Cotton, Calico, Garnet |
| 3rd | Leather | Crystal, Glass, Pearls |
| 4th | Fruit, Flowers | Appliances, Linen, Silk, Nylon, Blue Topaz |
| 5th | Wood | Silverware, Sapphire |
| 6th | Sugar, Iron | Wood, Candy, Amethyst |
| 7th | Wool, Copper | Brass, Desk Sets, Onyx |
| 8th | Bronze, Pottery | Appliances, Linens, Lace, Tourmaline Jewelry |
| 9th | Pottery, Willow | Leather, Lapis Jewelry |
| 10th | Tin, Aluminum | Diamond Jewelry |
| 11th | Steel | Fashion, Turquoise Jewelry |
| 12th | Silk, Linen | Pearls, Jade |
| 13th | Lace | Textiles, Furs, Citrine |
| 14th | Ivory | Gold Jewelry, Opal |
| 15th | Crystal | Glass, Watches, Ruby |
| 16th | Silver hollowware, Peridot | |
| 17th | Furniture, Watch | |
| 18th | Porcelain, Cat’s Eye Jewelry | |
| 19th | Bronze, Aquamarine | |
| 20th | China | Platinum, Emerald |
| 21st | Brass, Nickel | |
| 22nd | Copper | |
| 23rd | Silver plate | |
| 24th | Musical instruments | |
| 25th | Silver | Sterling silver |
| 26th | Original pictures | |
| 27th | Sculpture | |
| 28th | Orchids | |
| 29th | New furniture | |
| 30th | Pearl | Diamond |
| 31st | Time Pieces | |
| 32nd | Conveyances (e.g., automobiles) | |
| 33rd | Amethyst | |
| 34th | Opal | |
| 35th | Coral (Jade) | Jade |
| 36th | Bone china | |
| 37th | Alabaster | |
| 38th | Beryl, Tourmaline | |
| 39th | Lace | |
| 40th | Ruby | Ruby, Garnet |
| 41st | Land | |
| 42nd | Developed real estate | |
| 43rd | Travel | |
| 44th | Groceries | |
| 45th | Sapphire | Sapphire |
| 46th | Original poetry tribute | |
| 47th | Books | |
| 48th | Optical goods | |
| 49th | Luxuries, any kind | |
| 50th | Gold | Gold |
| 55th | Emerald | Emerald, Turquoise |
| 60th | Diamond | Gold, Diamond |
| 75th | Platinum | Diamondlike Stones, Gold |
Over the years my wife has done many wonderful things for me. One of the finest was that she trained our kids to welcome me home at the end of a long day at work. When our firstborn was just a toddler I would step through the door and hear her shout out “Dad’s home!” Parker would come running, with plenty of hugs and kisses.
