Below I share twelve reasons for wearing hose.  What would you add to the list?

1.  You are a woman and you look more attractive in hose.

2.  You are Broadway Joe Namath, it is the 1970s, and you just received big bucks to show off your legs in a television commercial.

3. It is Halloween and hose are an essential accoutrement to your costume.

4. You are a punk who is planning on robbing a liquor store and want to wear them over your head to disguise your identity.

5. It is really, really cold outside and you have lost your thermal underwear.

6. You are Mel Gibson playing an advertising executive in the movie What Women Want, and you are trying to figure out just what women want.

7. Your attempt to get a tan using a spray-on formula resulted in ultra-orange skin and now you need ultra-sheer hose to cover up your lapse in judgment.

8. You can’t find the Sponge-Bob Squarepants tights that you usually wear with your spandex hotpants.

9. The psychiatrist that you pay $115 per hour said that wearing hose helped him through a difficult time in his life and that they might be helpful for you, also.

10.  You are Rudy Giuliani and are completely oblivious to what is good and bad publicity for a politician.

11.  There is a rumor going around that Darth Vader wears them under his uniform and that they are the secret to his connection with The Force.

12. You have a medical condition (diabetes, gout, arthritis, etc.) from which you can get relief with the firm graduated compression of the jobst ultrasheer support hose at Discount Surgical Stockings.